yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
where does the pee come out of this thing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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