Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
