we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am one with the molecules
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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