i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
