What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
