Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
