if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
