garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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