Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
well you can't waste a boner
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
