I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
