I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
