Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
