we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
