I hate your face
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
