i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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