No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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