If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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