Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
