You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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