when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
