I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
