It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
