someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
