awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
