Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
