So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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