he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
