Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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