He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
