he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
