So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
