So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
