Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
