brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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