i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
