Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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