I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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