It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
