Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
