Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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