My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So gin and wine won't be happening again
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
