I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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