all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
