How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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