Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Randomize
