Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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