Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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