Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

My bottle opener just broke off in the cork

(248): View more from Michigan

They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.

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(917): View more from New York City

Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that

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(641): View more from Iowa

since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.

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(602): View more from Arizona

just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.

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(719): View more from Colorado

OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil

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