So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
