Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
